Come Here, Sally
by Orin Drake
Summary: XemnasSaix. Cracksmut. Uh... laughoutloud hot..? It's... a little... weird... so... Happy New Year, everyone.


"Come Here, Sally" and the general overall concept of "Come Here, Sally" are copyright Orin Drake 2006. The characters and hints to certain worlds contained within belong to Square-Enix and Disney. I'm afraid the idiocy is all my own.

Background: I really, really want to be able to blame Schala Kitty for this. But upon reading back over the conversation that spawned it... it was all my fault. I would say you need a sense of humor to read this, because it's definitely brutal character assassination (slaughter, really). And this is definitely what I would call crack-smut. I scare myself. But pleasantly so. I believe I'm much more proud of this (and the title) than I should be.

Come Here, Sally  
by Orin Drake

There were a lot of things that Xemnas did not know about himself, or his Other. And there were many secrets that were kept from the rest of the Organization. But there was one above all else. One room under all kinds of protective and reflecting magics to keep it safe from dark tunnels and any attempt at breaking the barrier. In that room was the most well-kept secret of all.

Xemnas loved his miniatures. The vast, protected room was full of them; stretched ceiling to floor and all along the walls were dioramas from all the worlds he planned to conquer. He even had a whole perfectly detailed village set up across the entire floor, complete with green carpet for grass, occasionally bunched up for rolling hills. There were little trees and little houses, little schools and little lights, little cars and little storefronts and a little brightly colored train conducted by an oddly familiar black mouse that ran through it all. No one was allowed to see the Superior play with his miniatures. _No one_.

Except... occasionally... Saix. It had been an accident, at first--the Diviner had made it a point to explore the area around his Master's rooms for security purposes... and maybe the possibility of catching a few "private moments". He'd sensed the barrier and the illusion magic that hid the door behind what appeared to be solid wall... and, somehow, found himself able to pass through.

Xemnas had been surprised, to say the least. He was full-tilt into a multi-pitched verbal fight over the color of bathroom fixtures from a tiny family in the palm of his hand.

Saix stood utterly still, blinking. There were no words finding their way into his slightly shattered mind. Just silence. A long silence. A long, extremely uncomfortable silence.

Broken by Xemnas' disinterested tone. "Well? If you're not going to join in, leave."

Another long moment of blinking. When the response finally left his mouth, he wasn't quite sure where it came from. "Okay." He certainly didn't know how his feet managed to move him forward, or why he reached over to one of the little dioramas on the wall, where a teenaged boy and a teenaged girl seemed to be staring longingly at one another over milkshakes in an otherwise empty diner setting. "Who... who are these?"

Xemnas patiently placed the family in his hand back into the house they came from before he approached the berserker. "That is Timmy and Sally. It is a budding romance, and they have secured themselves a private moment after school."

Saix couldn't believe his luck. It was... ridiculous. It was truly, doubtlessly _stupid_. But it was potentially to his advantage. "And... now what do I do?"

"Now you choose a figure and attempt to take on their character." Xemnas informed him. "Allow them to speak through you, in a sense. Here, allow me to demonstrate." He reached forward and plucked Timmy from the scene, moving the little figure up and down slightly in time with his oddly accented words. "Hey there, Sally. Those sure are good milkshakes, huh?"

Once again the berserker found himself blinking as his brain ground to a halt. It was... just... so... it... If he were familiar with the phrase, "what the fuck", he likely would have used it right then. Seeing as how he wasn't, however, it seemed the only thing he could do was attempt to go along with things. Holding the girl figure in such a way that it dangled from his fingers like something just a touch disgusting, he attempted to make use of all of his skill in learning an enemy's fighting moves--then countering appropriately. He cleared his throat, trying to mimic his Master and somewhat "become" the character by forcing his voice into an unnaturally high pitch. "Sure are, Timmy."

Xemnas looked unimaginably pleased. --Well, as pleased as he could ever look. "So what should we do now, Sally?"

"Maybe you'd like to make out?" Saix squeaked before he'd actually thought it through.

Oddly, there wasn't so much as a flinch at the idea. "Okay, sure." Xemnas immediately maneuvered Timmy closer, pushing the two miniature faces together and making the appropriately passionate noises.

There was that stunned blinking again--but Saix managed to recover a bit faster that time. "Oh, Timmy, again!" Sally demanded.

"Yes, okay." Timmy responded, clacking his face against Sally's and making kissing sounds again.

It was too much. His Master was just so willing... he couldn't stop his own words, suddenly wishing he _were_ Sally. Or... something like that. "Oh, Xemnas, please..."

The Superior broke out of his play, staring at his subordinate. "What..?"

Only then did Saix realize he'd dropped the character. He was quick to recover the high-pitched squeak. "Please. Please stop teasing me like this, Timmy."

But Xemnas was not convinced. "You didn't appropriately use Timmy's name. Nor did you speak in Sally's voice."

"Forgive me, Superior." He begged, his voice rough and raw. He looked with great intensity into Xemnas' eyes... but saw absolutely nothing reflected back. It was a bit sobering--if you could call it that--and he once again reverted to the play at hand. "So... can we have sex now, Timmy?"

Regardless of being the one to miss the most obvious things 99.9 of the time, Xemnas gave his most trusted Organization member a long look. He'd caught that slip, and he'd seen the longing in the other man's eyes... perhaps a little test, then. To be certain he was correct about his assumptions. He may not remember anything of life before, but Xigbar sure had the porn up loud enough after successful missions. He lowered his voice, made it husky and darkly demanding and pure, liquid, sex as he made eye contact again. "Come here, Sally. I'm going to fuck you into the floor."

Saix moaned and shivered as his eyes rolled back, abandoning Sally's voice altogether. "_Yesss_, gods, yes..."

Quickly, Xemnas gathered Sally and Timmy into his hand and messily placed them back into their diorama. "Let us journey to the valley." He turned and pointed, quite dramatically, to the "undeveloped" flat area on the edge of the town.

Saix was far too turned on to roll his eyes. He was just damn glad he wouldn't have a house sticking in his back while he was being fucked into Oblivion. He followed close behind his Master, echoing each footstep so he wouldn't accidentally crush anything.

Coming to the bare carpet, Xemnas pulled the zipper of his coat all the way down to expose his bare chest without prompting. "We wouldn't want to ruin the grass." The Superior informed, laying his own coat down over the "valley".

The Diviner immediately followed suit if only to keep an ever so slightly sarcastic comment at bay. Smoothly muscled chest and beautifully sculpted abdomen revealed, he fell to his widely parted knees and sat back on his heels in the middle of the layered coats, presenting the perfect submissive pose as he looked up to Xemnas longingly. "Superior... Master... may I..?"

Xemnas tilted his head at the request, his expression remarkably close to a hungry smile. He stepped forward, pulling his gloves off with swift precision before dropping them at his sides. One of his delicate-looking, pale hands rose, fingertips running lightly over Saix's throat and feeling the pulse, indulging in the shiver. He leaned down ever so slowly, watching the berserker's eyes widen with anticipation, feeling the pulse quicken and the breath stop altogether. When their lips were a mere hair's breadth away, he finally answered in a rumbling purr, "Yes. You may."

The actions, the motion, the response... Saix couldn't help his moan, wishing desperately that he'd removed his pants earlier to have saved quite some discomfort... but that would have been improper. Instead, when he'd gained a gasping breath he reached blindly for the Superior's pants, trying very hard to concentrate on unbuttoning and unzipping rather than the tearing to shreds he was wishing for.

It could have been long-dead instincts sparking to life for reasons even a learned scientist did not understand... it could have been the sight of an over-eager, lovely and trembling servant kneeling before him... No matter the trigger, Xemnas surprised them both by leaning forward the slightest bit more, taking control of Saix's mouth. There was one, bare moment of shocked stillness for both... and then the clash of teeth, the battle of tongue and lips and breath.

Perhaps it was not _passion_... but it was _something_. Saix's entire nonexistence became entirely about the hot, demanding _kiss_ granted by his Master... and the aching, pulsating hardness that had already shattered any previous threshold of agony. The delicious near-pain of his need drove his thoughts into working order enough to yank the Superior's pants down to his ankles, growling into the mouth pressed over his own.

Xemnas pulled away suddenly, finding dire need for breath as the cool air moved over his perfectly formed body. An oddly warm shiver worked its way down his spine as the berserker lightly lifted his Master's leg to remove the boot and the pant leg. The other boot followed quickly, leaving the Superior's golden skin completely bare.

Saix took in the sight before him in worshiping awe, finding audacity enough to rest his hands against Xemnas' hips and nuzzling the perfectly beautiful, smooth and almost painfully hard cock with his cheek. Yes, yes, he was pleasing his Master as much as his Master was pleasing him. That would have been enough, that was everything he needed... but, finding Xemnas' head thrown back and no orders to stop... he bravely continued. Turning his head so his breath would ghost over the arousal before him, he whispered, "Master... take me, please."

The Superior's hands suddenly found the Diviner's shoulders, steadying himself on his feet. Under most circumstances, he'd have punished a subordinate for asking such a thing... but right then, the thought hadn't even crossed him. "Down." He ordered with a soft growl. "On your hands and knees, VII."

No argument, and no pause. Saix turned gracefully, quickly, presenting himself with no shame and no fear.

Xemnas was left with the simply spectacular view. The way the Diviner's tight but not overly-formed muscles trembled lightly, the perfect curve of his ass, of his back, the way his hair covered his face and trailed over his shoulders... Xemnas could not wait. Dropping to his own knees, he allowed his fingers and palms to roam from those milky shoulders and down, lightly rubbing up and down the spine until, finally, he rested his hands against the lovely rump... and squeezed.

Every sensation continued to gather, amplify--but the soft, strong hands grasping him sent Saix's hips to breaking control, pumping wildly at the air. He made something akin to a whining noise when the hands pulled away, hearing his Master's light chuckle at the reaction. It was a bit disappointing... but he had no doubt there was more in store.

The Superior reached back a bit, just a couple of feet--ah, there it was. A little container he kept below a train bridge. He coated his fingers in the oil he used to maintain the tiny train, smirking at the obviously thin thread of control Saix had over his own responses. Using his uncoated hand to spread those perfect globes apart, he gave no warning before he steadily pushed a single finger inside the clenching ring of muscle.

A rough, low groan tore from Saix's throat, the burning-smooth-cold searing every nerve. He was panting, quivering as that single finger pushed its way inside completely and without pause, feeling every ounce of power taken from him as the angle of the finger inside turned just slightly.

Xemnas added a second finger as he leaned over his servant, purring in his ear, "Was this your plan all along, VII?"

An animal growl answered him as Saix pushed backward. Slick and hot and tight--he could feel his own muscles clenching and quickly being stretched, the pain of it only adding to the sharp shivers of pleasure every movement inside inspired.

Scissoring his fingers almost violently, the Superior finally pulled out and away. He knew very well that the berserker got off on the sweet torture of pleasure-pain, and he was feeling "kind" enough to provide. "On your back."

There was no need to ask again. Saix rolled over immediately, legs spread, knees bent slightly. He gazed up at his Master, breath coming fast, aching with the need to be completed if only temporarily...

Xemnas moved fluidly, pulling VII's legs over his shoulders before thrusting the head of his arousal into the waiting heat. The responding, choked moan drove him further, enveloping tightness swallowing his cock thrust by shallow, quick thrust.

There was too much pride in the Diviner to have ever admitted it, and if asked he'd have completely denied the memory. But when Xemnas settled all the way inside of him, buried to the root, Saix mewled wildly like a beast in heat. He threw his head back into the soft coats and carpet beneath, hands unconsciously finding their way to his Master's shoulders--and ripping.

Xemnas cried out sharply when he felt the claw-like nails break the skin. That was the start, that was the completing factor; thrusting harder due to the new sensations, he found the slick slide of heat and clenching muscle, the half-open eyes meeting his own and the smooth, hot flesh below him to be his undoing. Unable to do anything more, he launched himself into a series of quick, harsh thrusts--then finished with a trembling growl and his teeth breaking the skin of the berserker's neck.

The smell of blood had already broken every last bit of Saix's control, but the sound Xemnas made with the tearing wounds in his shoulders was enough to throw him over. The amazing addition of fast, sharp thrusts and then finally the teeth in the side of his throat--he knew he had never cum that hard in all of his life, death or in-between, existence or nonexistence. And for that moment of _bright_ and viciously, insanely searing pleasure... there was the clear memory of completeness.

Xemnas collapsed on top of him, only half-conscious when he pulled his mouth away from Saix's neck to gasp for breath. They lay there, indirectly trying to regain consciousness. And then, after a long moment, the Superior finally took a long look at the village laid out before them. Then all of the captured moments from worlds to be devoured along the walls. "I'm not quite sure I wanted everyone to see me like this."

Saix did not groan. It took all of his concentration and willpower, but he _did not groan_.

* * *

In case you're wondering what in the hell is the matter with me... I couldn't answer. But wow was this ever an interesting experiment. I'm liking this crack-smut thing.

If you'd like to be e-mailed when I update, drop me a line with whatever story/stories/website you'd like me to inform you of.


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